Insight is the third step of the method, and it starts with seeing clearly what is actually driving a reaction. Underneath most difficult feelings there is one of three things, usually in some mixture. Trust, which is doubt about whether you can handle this or whether things will work out. Value, which is a sense that you do not matter, or a harsh judgment about your own worth. Acceptance, which is the struggle against what has happened or against something you cannot control. Naming which of these is at work tells you what the difficulty is really about, and that is worth having on its own, before anything gets changed.

In this exercise you will bring to mind a situation that is bothering you and notice the emotion and the thoughts that come with it. Then you will put three questions to yourself in turn. You will ask whether there is doubt about your ability to handle this or about how it will turn out, and if so, stay with that and notice the specific ability or outcome you doubt. You will ask whether there is a sense that you do not matter, that you are not worthy, or that you are judging yourself harshly, and if so, notice exactly what judgment you are making. You will ask whether you are resisting what has happened or fighting something outside your control, and if so, notice precisely what you are resisting. Then you will look at all three and notice which feels most relevant. One may stand out, or two, or all three in different degrees. You will name what is driving the emotion and stop there.