Mindful Communication

Where are we now?

In our always-on always, connected world we think we are communicating more effectively and yet we are not.  We are easily distracted and our attention control is becoming worse.

A study conducted by Microsoft discovered that our attention spans are now less than 8 seconds – less than a goldfish.  We can see people hunched over and glued to their mobile devices everywhere we look.  Even while conversing, our attention is focused on something else, not the conversation. One study from the Mindful Leadership Institute found that 70% of leaders report being regularly unable to be attentive in meetings.  Generous listening and communication skills are fast becoming lost skills.

What is effective communication?

Communicating is a 2-way process and it starts with generous listening.  Generous listening is defined as giving someone the full gift of attention.  Too often, we are busy contemplating and formulating a response to someone way before they are finished making their point.  Howard Beckman and Melissa Mooney et al. studied how effectively primary care physicians communicated.  They found that after Mindfulness communication skills were taught and put into practice, the physician’s ability to remain focused and listen to their patients increased, resulting in a better diagnosis.

Effective communication also relies on the skill to become aware of how the other person may feel about a particular conversation.  Being more aware of our emotions makes us more empathetic to others.  This skill then fosters the ability to better meet the other person’s needs through tactful usage of words that would better compassionately address concerns and issues. In addition, we may often hide from having difficult conversations when we feel uncomfortable, thus removing our ability to communicate.  Being in tune with our emotions and the emotions of others allows us to build greater self-awareness and this in turn, results in better emotional regulation skills.  Our emotions drive our decisions and actions so knowing how we feel at any given moment and being Mindful of the underlying story allows us the ability to move past limiting beliefs and fears and move forward in a positive direction.

How can you improve?

There are a number of Mindful practices that can be taught to employees in order to increase communication skills.  Attention control and developing the skill to wait before responding are examples.  Increasing empathy and compassion skills also allows us to communicate without escalating a potentially negative situation.  The great news is these skills can all be trained. With a little practice and insight, they can become a permanent part of your approach to interacting with others.