You can listen to this lesson as a recording, or read it below.

Meditation attracts more misunderstanding than almost anything else in this area, so it is worth clearing up what it actually is before saying how to do it.

It is an exercise. That is all it is. A deliberate practice for training the skill of awareness, in the same way that a particular movement in a gym trains a particular capacity.

It is not the goal. It is not a spiritual requirement. And it is not a test you pass or fail.

Three Things It Is Not

It is not about emptying your mind. Your mind produces thoughts. That is its function. It will not stop, and trying to make it stop just gives you something new to fail at.

It is not about becoming calm. Calm sometimes happens, and it is a side effect rather than the objective. Some of the most useful sessions are the ones where you are restless throughout, because you learn a great deal about restlessness.

And it is not about controlling anything. You are not managing your thoughts or suppressing your feelings. You are watching what is there.

The Whole Practice

Sit somewhere reasonably comfortable, in a place with few distractions, particularly at the start. A quiet room removes a lot of what pulls at your attention, and it gives you the best chance of noticing anything at all.

Pick something to rest your attention on. The breath is the usual choice, because it is always available and it asks nothing of you. It could also be sounds, or the sensation of your body against the chair.

Put your attention there.

Your attention will leave. Not might. Will, repeatedly, sometimes within seconds.

When you notice that it left, bring it back. Without commentary, and without any verdict about having drifted.

That is the exercise. The whole thing.

The Wandering Is the Practice

The noticing is the thing you are practicing, so an attention that wanders is not getting in the way of the exercise.

Every time you catch the drift and return, that is one repetition of exactly the skill you are building, which is the ability to know where your attention is and to put it back deliberately.

Which means a session where your mind wandered fifty times was fifty repetitions. That is a better session than one where you were placidly absorbed, not a worse one.

Where Else You Can Point It

Once you have a feel for it, you can point your attention at a wider range of things than the breath. Body sensations. Emotions as they arise. Thoughts, watched as thoughts rather than followed. Your beliefs, your decisions, your behaviors, your values, other people and your interactions with them.

All of that is the same skill, aimed at different objects.

The Four Groups of Practice

The meditations here fall into four groups, and each one builds on the skills of the group before it.

• Attentional Awareness meditations, which train the ability to place attention and return it.
• Self-Awareness meditations, which turn that attention onto your own feelings, emotions, thoughts and beliefs.
• Compassion meditations, which build the kindness that makes the looking sustainable.
• Optimistic Re-Framing meditations, which work on shifting a belief once you can see it.

If you are new to this, stay with the attentional awareness practices for the first couple of weeks before moving on. There is no advantage in rushing past them.

A Few Practical Points

Short and regular beats long and occasional. Five minutes most days will build more than forty minutes once every two weeks, because the brain changes through repetition.

Discomfort is normal, both physical and mental. Shift position if you need to.

And if something surfaces that feels like more than you can sit with, you do not need to stop. Focus on your breath and relax your muscles until you feel less overwhelmed, and then continue where you left off.

What you are feeling is uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous. Your thoughts and feelings cannot physically harm you. Each time you stay with the discomfort, you build trust that you can handle what comes up.

And if sitting still is simply not something you take to, it is not the only exercise available. Writing builds the same skills. So does mirror work. So does paying deliberate attention while doing something ordinary.

The skill is what matters. Meditation is one route to it, and you are allowed to prefer a different one.

Also in This Course

This part is not in the recording.

You can practice in whatever posture you want. There is no single correct posture, and claims that special hand positions (mudras) let energy flow have no scientific backing. Sit or lie down comfortably, with your eyes open or closed. Take three deep breaths. Rest your attention on your breath for a minute or two, then begin the exercise.

There are three meditation methods used in these exercises. Observing is focusing your mind on something, such as your breath, your body, or your thoughts, and noticing what is there without judgment. Visualizing is mentally rehearsing a situation or imagining a new way of being. Affirming is repeating supportive statements to yourself, which lets you change your self-talk.

Next, we will look at how to bring your practice into everyday life.