Give this Compassion exercise a try.
About This Practice
Most of us speak to ourselves in a way we would never speak to someone we care about. Self-compassion is not letting yourself off, and it is not telling yourself everything is fine. It is meeting your own difficulty with the same understanding and practical help you would offer a friend, which usually means being honest about what is hard, and then doing something useful about it.
In this exercise you will bring to mind a situation where you are struggling or being hard on yourself. You will listen to how you are speaking to yourself and name the criticism plainly. Then you will imagine a close friend came to you with exactly that situation, and notice what you would say to them. Finally you will offer yourself the same thing, in words you can actually believe, and choose one concrete way to support yourself.
Guided Practice
Choose the practice length that suits you today.
Ways to Practise
Meditation
Sit or lie down comfortably, with your eyes closed or resting softly. Follow along with the audio recording.
Writing
Describe a manageable situation in which you are struggling. Write the harsh or demanding things you are saying to yourself. Imagine a close friend describing the same situation. Write what you would understand and what you would say to help them. Rewrite your response to yourself using the same honesty, patience, and practical support. Do not excuse a mistake; separate useful responsibility from self-attack. Identify one specific thing you need now and one reasonable next step. Review the difference between the critical response and the supportive response. Note how each affects you.
Inner Child
Sit comfortably and bring to mind a younger version of yourself, or look at a childhood photograph. Follow the audio recording while keeping your younger self in mind, and direct the practice toward the needs, beliefs, or experiences of that younger self.
Mirror
Sit or stand where you can see your reflection. Use a soft gaze. Bring to mind a manageable struggle and notice how you are speaking to yourself. Look at your reflection and say what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Keep the words honest, specific, and helpful. Acknowledge the difficulty, stop the personal attack, and identify one form of support or one reasonable next step. Finish by taking three slow breaths while maintaining a steady, supportive gaze.
Real-World Practice
Use this when you notice self-criticism during the day. Pause and acknowledge what is difficult. Ask what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Offer yourself the same honest and useful response. Then choose one form of support or one practical next step.
Micro Practice: Just three breaths…
- Breath – Acknowledge that this is difficult.
- Breath – Speak to yourself as you would to a close friend.
- Breath – Choose one helpful next step.
Next, we turn to Insight, the third step in our 4-StepsTM approach.