This exercise is Cultivating Self-Compassion. It builds the habit of being as honest and helpful with yourself when you are struggling as you would be with a close friend.
Use the mirror version today. Speaking kindly to yourself while looking at your own reflection can be difficult, and that difficulty is part of what makes the practice useful. If it feels like too much, take a slow breath, soften your gaze and keep going. The discomfort is not dangerous.
About This Practice
Most of us speak to ourselves in a way we would never speak to someone we care about. Self-compassion is not letting yourself off, and it is not telling yourself everything is fine. It is meeting your own difficulty with the same understanding and practical help you would offer a friend, which usually means being honest about what is hard, and then doing something useful about it.
In this exercise you will bring to mind a situation where you are struggling or being hard on yourself. You will listen to how you are speaking to yourself and name the criticism plainly. Then you will imagine a close friend came to you with exactly that situation, and notice what you would say to them. Finally you will offer yourself the same thing, in words you can actually believe, and choose one concrete way to support yourself.
Guided Practice
Choose the practice length that suits you today.
Compassion Exercise
Practice Methods
Meditation
Sit or lie down comfortably, with your eyes closed or resting softly. Follow along with the audio recording.
Mirror
Sit or stand where you can see your reflection. Use a soft gaze. Bring to mind a manageable struggle and notice how you are speaking to yourself. Look at your reflection and say what you would say to a close friend in the same situation. Keep the words honest, specific, and helpful. Acknowledge the difficulty, stop the personal attack, and identify one form of support or one reasonable next step. Finish by taking three slow breaths while maintaining a steady, supportive gaze.
Next, we turn to Insight, the third step in our 4-StepsTM approach.