Why Is Mirror Work Helpful?
Mirror work means looking at yourself in a mirror to gain perspective, observe your thoughts and examine your beliefs. It brings you face to face with your own internal dialogue. It can be challenging, and it is a direct way to build self-awareness and self-acceptance.
There are two main ways to practice. You observe what comes up as you look at yourself, and you affirm new, more supportive beliefs.
Looking into your own eyes can be intense, because most of us avoid truly seeing ourselves. You may notice resistance, such as the urge to look away. That resistance can point to deeper beliefs about your own worth. Pay attention to any critical thoughts that arise. As compassion researcher Kristin Neff has noted, we often speak more harshly to ourselves than we would to anyone else. When you notice a critical statement, apologize to yourself, just as you would to a friend.
How to Practice
- Sit or stand comfortably with a mirror where you can easily see your reflection.
- Take three deep breaths to relax and bring your attention to the present moment. Look at yourself in the mirror and make eye contact.
- Begin the exercise. While you practice, keep the following in mind.
- From time to time, take a conscious breath and relax any tension you notice in your body.
- Your gaze will wander. This is the same as your mind wandering during meditation. When you notice you are no longer looking at yourself, note the distraction or the resistance and gently guide your gaze back to your eyes.
- If judgments come up about yourself or about your practice, observe them, acknowledge that they are there, and return to the practice.
- If negative dialogue about your appearance surfaces, apologize to yourself and then recognize one positive trait.
- If you notice anxiety or distress arising from what you are observing, remind yourself that these are things you are observing and that they are not dangerous. Many people experience what you are experiencing. You are safe.
- When the practice ends, look around and become present in your environment by taking three breaths.
- Thank yourself for taking the time to practice.
- Reflect on what you noticed during the practice.
If Looking in a Mirror Feels Too Intense
Be gentle with yourself. If looking in a mirror feels too intense at first, use a photograph of yourself. That can bring up similar feelings with enough distance to make the practice manageable.
This is not an endurance test. The goal is to build the skill of being with your experience, not to force yourself into discomfort. By practicing regularly you strengthen your ability to trust yourself, to value your own worth, and to accept both your strengths and your imperfections.
There is no correct posture and you do not need any special equipment. All you need is a mirror and a willingness to be with yourself for a few moments.
Next, let’s put compassion into practice.